Thursday, 5 June 2014

Perfect Dreams, Imperfect Realities

We tend to expect A LOT from people.  Especially the ones designated to love us.  A parent is meant to know how to support and comfort.  So is a partner.

A boyfriend is meant to know how to be romantic in the way we think romantic should be.  So is a husband.

Regularly in our eyes, and to our hearts, they fail.  Perfect creeps into our dreams and fantasies.  We know just how it goes:  our life story, our birthday party, Christmas, Valentine's Day.

It's not necessarily that we are dreamer types regularly lost in visions of our perfect scenarios.  We don't have to be.  There's a way things are 'meant' to be that films, books, magazines, family and friends tell us about.  There are standards our lives are meant to meet and other people - the other members of the cast - are in part responsible for making sure they do.

We're definitely not the only ones responsible for spoiling the way our story is meant to go.  People trample all over it as well with their heavy, insensitive boots that don't just leave prints.  Sometimes they leave scars.

But have you discovered how reality can be so much richer than the fantasy even though it doesn't match the picture in your head? 

I've found dreams can turn out to be strangely two dimensional against real life which is 3-D by comparison.  It has shadows that actually serve to make the light brighter.

Real love certainly isn't always, not even often, 'Hollywood'.  But in my experience it can't be compared.  When I think of my husband and family, they are so much more than some 2-D ideal.  The intricacies of a real human being are far beyond what I could ever have asked or imagined.

Reality is multi-faceted.  Reality is REAL!  Messy and hard sometimes.  Imperfect, certainly, but beautiful none the less.

In my own life, the more I have known that through Jesus I have perfect love, somehow it has become possible to be a bit less demanding of people.  I'm able to look at the love they give with a bit of perspective (most of the time!).  It is imperfect but actually all the more precious for it.

Increasingly I try to accept the love that is given even if it's not the kind I think I'd most choose because it's a miracle that any of us, any human - especially those who've known little proper love - can give something that reflects God at all.

Love may not be presented to us as we would give it, or indeed choose to receive it.  Yet it is exactly that:  a gift.

If we trust God to be God and let people be people, although they disappoint and let us down and destroy our dreams of perfection, it's funny how He can bless us through their love after all.

Lives don't always live up to the way things are 'meant' to be:

The man doesn't go down on one knee?
Jesus has gone down further for us than anyone could.

The parent doesn't notice or care?


More on Perfect Dreams, Imperfect Realities.  Links here:

I read this post back in 2012 and haven't forgotten Sarah's Thanksgiving battling a cold, the food not turning out like it should, the table being too small but it being good anyway...
And a little more recently when a daughter fears Mother's Day wasn't perfect so wonders if it was worth it.  You can guess the answer...
And another from 2012 on letting people off the hook and looking to God with all our dreams...

Perfect Dreams, Imperfect Realities is part of #imperfectweek here and at

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